what was i thinking?
by adam leamey
Summary: a humerous story makes fun of a lot of things has jokes from spaceballs


What was I thinking?  
  
Chapter 1:It begins  
  
It is a typical day in heaven the sun is shining the birds are singing the wind is blowing it seems like a peaceful day. But that peace is always broken, as a Ferrari S-1 class chariot fly's by, chasing the chariot is the lord in his star chariot, which was huge. It was so big that it cast a shadow over most of heaven on the back of the chariot was a bumper sticker saying "we brake for no one."  
  
The chariot begins to fire on the other one as the lord comes in and they stand to attention.  
  
Lord: "who told you to fire the weapons."  
  
Gunner: "no one sir my finger just slipped."  
  
Lord: "your finger slipped alright what is your name."  
  
Gunner's commander: "he is an idiot sir."  
  
Lord: "I know that but what is his name."  
  
Gunner's commander: "that is his name, Gunner, Complete Idiot sir nephew of Commander Utter idiot."  
  
Lord: "alright who else here is an idiot?"  
  
Everyone: "yo."  
  
Lord: "I knew it I'm surrounded by idiots."  
  
He grumbles angrily.  
  
Lord: "all idiots here and everywhere have a 30 day licence suspension."  
  
Everyone: "30 days we could do that standing on our heads."  
  
Lord: "alright 60 days."  
  
All of the idiot's grumbles staying quiet angry about their punishment.  
  
The lords star chariot continues to chase after the Ferrari as the lord contacts him.  
  
Lord: "give it up Dante you can't escape give back that child now."  
  
Dante "no way I am tacking this baby with me and you can't stop me."  
  
Lord: "we shall see about that."  
  
As the lord turns to the console activating the tractor beam catching the Ferrari.  
  
Lord: "transport me to the cargo bay."  
  
The lord is transported their as a bright light surrounds him when he gets to the cargo bay he notices something different about himself. He notices that his body was the wrong way round to his head he looks at his behind.  
  
Lord "why didn't you tell me my behind was so big."  
  
Trasporter person: "we feared what you might do to us."  
  
Lord: "alright transport me back dam it always worked on star trek."  
  
They transport him back as he walks through the door coming into the cargo bay.  
  
Lord "lets se what we have got here open it."  
  
They open the Ferrari finding nothing in there.  
  
Lord: "dam he must have got out before we brought his ship aboard."  
  
Lord: "I want a search for Dante now I want him dead or alive but make sure the baby is kept safe."  
  
All the gods and goddess scramble running in circles not getting anywhere fast as the lord fumes in rage.  
  
Lord: "what are you doing get into order now."  
  
They all stop getting in single file going to their posts getting the word round the lord puts his hand to his head.  
  
Lord: "why must I be surrounded by such idiots."  
  
Meanwhile in heaven Dante was running from the guards he sees a portal to earth running for it seeing Belldandy in the way.  
  
Dante: "gah were did you come from"  
  
Belldandy: "everywhere yet nowhere"  
  
Dante tries to do the Vulcan nerve pinch on her to render he unconscious.  
  
Belldandy: "no no your doing it all wrong you need to move your hand a bit to the left."  
  
He moves it to the left.  
  
Dante "like this."  
  
Belldandy "yes."  
  
Dante "now what."  
  
Belldandy "just squeeze down"  
  
Dante squeezes as she falls asleep as he looks outwards thinking "how weird"  
  
He goes through the portal escaping the forces of heaven as he lands on the earth, he checks that the baby was all right.  
  
Dante "phew made it now to find somewhere to stay"  
  
He looks around seeing a hotel somewhat far off he starts to run towards it at top speed keeping his energy signal low so that they can't find him he reaches the hotel. As he goes in he remembers that he does not have any money he would have to use his powers he goes to the front desk and rings the bell.  
  
Receptionist: "yes how may I help you."  
  
Dante: "I would like a room please."  
  
Receptionist "we have no rooms available sir."  
  
Dante moves his hand over in a weird motion "you will give me a room."  
  
Receptionist " I am sorry sir but we don't have any left."  
  
Dante moves his hand again "you will give me a room."  
  
Receptionist "sir you are not Obi Wan Kenobi you can't change things by moving your hand."  
  
Dante roar his eyes blazing with flame "you will give me the room or suffer my wrath."  
  
The receptionist quivers gulping "yes sir what ever you say."  
  
Dante: "now that's better."  
  
The receptionist gets up leading him to a room and throwing out the current tenant who growls but runs for it seeing Dante's angered face. He goes in his room as the receptionist runs down the stairs to the phone.  
  
Receptionist: "hello police we have a trouble maker over here."  
  
Police: "ok we are coming."  
  
Heaven hears this call as the lord sees Belldandy.  
  
Lord: "Belldandy wake up Dante has been reported get your sisters and go get him now."  
  
Belldandy gets up slowly "yes sir."  
  
She goes through a portal getting her sisters who come to her wondering what is going on.  
  
Belldandy: "we are to go capture Dante and retrieve a baby he has kidnapped."  
  
Skuld: "I have a question."  
  
Belldandy: "A question what is it?"  
  
Skuld: "it is a method of testing a persons knowledge on a subject but that's not important right now, what's so special about this baby?"  
  
Belldandy: "the baby's name is Harmony she is the goddess of destiny and my granddaughter, if evil gets a hold of her they can use her to change the world as they see fit."  
  
Urd: "then we have to stop them."  
  
Belldandy: "yes to the goddess mobile"  
  
Batman music begins to play as they run to a book case Belldandy presses a button as it opens up revealing three poles as they slide down them when they come down from, the poles they are wearing goddess uniforms. They run to the goddess mobile staring at it as it is a mini metro the music stops as Skuld speaks.  
  
Skuld: "alright stop right their mister story teller, a mini metro come on you can do better than that a sports car would be better, you are so annoying, give us a good car now."  
  
A bright light flashes around Skuld as she is turned into a catgirl.  
  
Belldandy: "were you arguing with the narrator again Skuld?"  
  
Skuld puts her fingers together looking at her self, seeing fur and a tail and two pointy ears, as she looks in a mirror "no sis."  
  
Belldandy: "I am sorry about my sister but please give us a better car than a mini metro."  
  
Adam Leamey: "alright Belldandy but Skuld is staying like that she's ticked me off."  
  
The mini changes into a real fast sports car as Skuld cries.  
  
Urd: "you deserved it Skuld you know better than to argue with the narrator."  
  
The Batman music resumes as they get in the car speeding of to the hotel.  
  
Urd: "we will never get there at this rate" she presses the turbo button as the car goes into overdrive they get pushed back into their seats by inertia as they zoom by as the car drives itself dodging all the other cars barely. Belldandy moves her hand pressing the blue button as the car returns to normal speed as they recover.  
  
Belldandy: "Urd if I have told you once, I have told you a million times, only I can press the red button."  
  
Urd "I am sorry sis I could not help myself."  
  
Belldandy drives on to the hotel as they got closer and closer they got there as police got there to, she swerved the wheel managing to dodge the police.  
  
The police come up to her staring at them weirdly.  
  
Police: "I am sorry man I don't know what your deal is being dressed like that maybe you have some sort of convention your late for but that does not excuse speeding."  
  
Belldandy: "I am sorry officer but we needed to get here that trouble maker is holding my grand daughter hostage."  
  
Police: "alright I will let you off but stay out of our way."  
  
They approach the building as the last of the people come out they surround it as the police chief walks forward with a megaphone.  
  
Chief: "testing, testing 1, 2, 3 is this on oh it is, you are surrounded all escape routes have been blocked give yourself up now.  
  
They hear a roar from the building as a fiery demon comes out the building holding Harmony in a blanket. He roars as energy surrounds him and then fans out the police aim their guns at him, Belldandy steps in front of them.  
  
Belldandy: "stop he is holding my grand daughter"  
  
The police growl lowering their weapons as they do Urd, Skuld and Belldandy step forward to meet the demon.  
  
Dante: "do you think you can stop me I don't think you can"  
  
They look at him angrily as Skuld drives her knee into him as a PHWAP sound comes from somewhere.  
  
Belldandy spins her knee around as a CLANG sound comes from the hit.  
  
Dante: alright mister narrator stop with the batman stuff I have had quite enough of those sound effects."  
  
Everyone else: "as have we."  
  
Adam Leamey: "alright, alright sheesh you wont let me have any fun."  
  
They continue to fight as Belldandy manages to get Harmony back he roars as the police aim their guns at him and fire but all they get is clicks from their guns. Dante smiles at Belldandy as he lunges at her she dodges to the left as he hits a wall.  
  
Dante: "ouch that hurt."  
  
Dante thinks to himself as his brain works he comes up with a plan he looks at Belldandy.  
  
Dante: "oh look it's the goddess Belldandy"  
  
Belldandy: "really where" she looks around as he grabs harmony.  
  
As Belldandy's head changes to a lollipop with the words "sucker "and then changes back to normal "I can't believe I fell for that."  
  
Dante runs on laughing "she fell for the oldest trick in the book"  
  
Belldandy gets a book of tricks out checking it "yep it is the oldest trick in the book." She flings the book away.  
  
Urd, Skuld and Belldandy chase after him come back here now and apologise, Dante stops looking at them "alright I give up you can have the baby back I apologise"  
  
Belldandy, Urd and Skuld: "Really?"  
  
Dante "nope"  
  
He laugh's as he run on going faster and faster Belldandy, Urd and Skuld fume "come back here you" they charge after him tying to catch him.  
  
Dante then goes "meep, meep" and runs of as dust cover them.  
  
Belldandy, Urd and Skuld look at one another "do you get the feeling that the narrator has lost the plot."  
  
Adam Leamey: "achem I can hear you."  
  
Belldandy: "sorry sir" they get in the car and chase after him.  
  
To be continued… 


End file.
